The miniature face was so perfect, so lovely for a creature that had been born only centars ago. A delicate froth of blonde wisps covered the little round head, which was adorned with impossibly tiny whorls of ears. The little pink mouth scrunched up for a micron and then softened, slackening into full, pretty lips. Starbuck lips. The baby's eyes were closed now, but he knew they were blue, the blue of the ocean on Caprica. Starbuck eyes. Apollo's heart clenched painfully.
"Did I look like this when I was born?" Boxey whispered, running a finger over the fuzz on the baby's head.
Apollo fought to compose himself, watching Starbuck stroking Cassie's hair, smiling at her as though she'd given him the world. The lieutenant adjusted the pillows under her head, and offered her a glass of water. Starbuck had read everything he could find on pregnancy and midwifery, and had stayed with Cassie all through the labor and delivery. No one could say that he wouldn't be an attentive father. But Apollo had to wonder if, in his zeal to be a good parent, Starbuck would have any energy left to be a good husband. He knew there would be others thinking the same thing - Cassie in particular.
"I don't know, son. I wasn't there when you were born, but I think all babies look about the same." Zac hadn't looked so pretty, though, Apollo thought. Just red and wrinkly.
"Will Cassie let me hold her whenever I want to?" Boxey asked, trying to rock the baby in his arms the way his Aunt Athena had just a few centons ago, before she went on duty.
"We'll see," Apollo said. "Alexia is going to need some peace and quiet for a while." He could tell that Boxey was going to pester Cassie and the baby endlessly. At least Boxey was being gentle with the baby, and was supporting her head properly. While she was pregnant, Cassie had given the boy lessons using a medical baby doll that she'd found in the Life Center supply closet. Apollo watched carefully, just in case; it had been a long time since he'd held a baby.
He hadn't held this baby yet. Starbuck had tried to put the small bundle into his arms less than a centar after its - her - birth, but Apollo had refused to hold her. He was terrified - afraid he'd drop her, afraid he'd hurt her, she was so small and defenseless. He was afraid of what Cassie would do to him if anything happened to the baby. He was afraid of what Starbuck would do to him if he were clumsy, or not as reverent as the lieutenant would like. All he could think of was how much this new bit of life looked like Starbuck, and hot tears wanted to leak from his eyes.
"What's wrong?" Starbuck had teased. "You don't think she's ugly, do you?"
Apollo shook his head, temporarily wordless. "No," he'd said finally. "No, Starbuck, she's beautiful - how could she not be, considering who her mother and father are?" And then Cassie had asked for more water, and Starbuck had gone to her side.
He was jealous, Apollo realized with a jolt of distaste. Jealous of Cassie, and the way Starbuck focused so intently on her. He hadn't treated Cassie with such tenderness while they were dating. It was only over the past nine sectars that Starbuck had become so solicitous of her. Which was to be expected, in light of her condition, after all. Apollo had spent yahrens being jealous of Starbuck's lovers, but he'd always known that, when it counted, he came first. What kind of person was he, to want more of Starbuck than he had already? Apollo swallowed a lump the size of a Triad ball. After Cassie was released from the Life Center, he would be going on patrol with Boomer for the next few sectons while Starbuck took paternity leave. Apollo took a deep breath. Those centars on patrol were *his*! He wondered what Starbuck could possibly discuss with Cassie for all those centars. Could anyone talk about a baby for that long? Apollo comforted himself with the thought of all the yahrens of friendship that he and Starbuck had shared, all the times when they'd had nothing to depend upon but each other. Nothing Cassie could do could ever compete with that. Alexia, though - she would be able to compete.
"Come on, Boxey, it's bedtime for you!" Gritting his teeth, Apollo lifted Alexia from Boxey's arms, and shooed him out of the Life Center. Then he looked down at the baby he held. She made a soft gurgling sound and her tiny fist flailed at Apollo's cheek.
Starbuck's chuckle was close to Apollo's ear. He leaned toward the baby and wagged a finger in her face. "No punching your other daddy, Alexia," he scolded pleasantly. "You'll need him to help with your homework, believe me!" Then he turned his head and brushed a kiss against Apollo's lips. "I think it's time you greeted your daughter properly. Please, Pol?"
The entreaty in Starbuck's eyes was so clear to see, his concern so obvious that Apollo felt like a fool. Worse than a fool. He felt cruel and selfish. When Starbuck had proposed asking Cassie to carry a child for them, Apollo had agreed. They had been Sealed for almost two yahrens, and it had seemed like a good idea. For Cassie, it was a perfect solution; she wanted to experience motherhood, but hadn't settled into a permanent relationship, in addition to which her duties as a medic and studies toward a physician's license left little time to raise a child.
After much fruitless discussion, Apollo and Starbuck had tossed a cubit to determine which of them would actually father the child, and Starbuck had won.. The conception was accomplished through artificial insemination - something which Cassie had argued against until Starbuck had offered another alternative: a fertilization session which would have included all three of them. Apollo had felt less than flattered at her instant response.
These last sectars had been hard, full of sniping and bickering, and doubts that they had done the right thing. Doubts even in their love for each other. Things had been said that both of them wished they could take back.
Now, gazing down at the innocent being that he held in his arms, the sectars of feeling neglected seemed to melt away. She *was* beautiful, and he wanted suddenly, fiercely, to protect her from all the evil in the universe. Apollo cuddled Alexia against him and kissed the perfect little nose.
"Welcome, little girl," he whispered.
"It's all right, then?" Starbuck asked in a whisper. "You - you're really all right with all of this?" The blue eyes were glassy with moisture.
Apollo nodded. "Yes - and I'm sorry, Star. For everything. All the petty things I worried about, all the accusations. I know you didn't mean to take me for granted."
"I'm sorry, too. I love you, Pol."
"I love you, Star. More than anything." He smiled and handed Alexia to Starbuck. "Hurry home, love! We have a birthday to celebrate!"
The End